A Year and A Lifetime — Lauren Accardo

I forgot the anniversary of my book.

Actual pub dates may seem inconsequential. I know plenty of authors who’ve spotted their books on B&N shelves days before the official release date, but in the world of debuts and newbie authors still getting used to having their names on covers, pub dates are still kind of a big deal.

And I forgot.

2021 was a whirlwind, to say the freaking least. I found out I was pregnant in December 2020 in the middle of a pandemic, got a new dayjob in January 2021, moved apartments in February, my very first romance novel debuted with Berkley in May, I had a baby in August, and by September my brain had softened into something resembling candles at the end of a dinner party.

But YAY second book! SWEET LOVE officially published on September 28 and despite being in the midst of a very real bout of postpartum depression, I washed and straightened my hair, put on a coat of mascara and a wrinkled button down shirt over maternity bike shorts, and “celebrated” my release.

I don’t really remember what I did that day. I probably cried at least once. I know I didn’t get much sleep. Levon was 5 ½ weeks old and I felt like I’d already lived ten lifetimes with him. I thought I should know more than I did, thought I should have a better handle on being a mom. Where was my intuition? Where was that gut feeling people talk about kicking in the second your child appears in the world? I fell down rabbit holes on The Bump, Psychology Today, What to Expect, I Googled “short naps” and “how to tell if your baby is hungry” and “how to increase your supply.” I slept two hours at a time and tried to reassure my increasingly-worried husband that I would be okay if I could just take a quick walk or watch an episode of Real Housewives.

Thanks to an impossibly wonderful therapist, my hero of a supportive husband, and a prescription for Zoloft, everything evened out. My son got older (as kids tend to do) and eventually slept longer stretches until around 5 months when he gave me the greatest gift a baby can give their mama: a night of uninterrupted sleep (SEVEN TO SEVEN, Y’ALL. SEVEN TO SEVEN). I’m sitting here, a year after this bleary-eyed photo was taken, and I can finally write about it.

It was hard. Super hard. And I, admittedly, have the sweetest, chillest baby in the world. He’s healthy, he’s happy, and as rocky as the road into motherhood was for me, I know how stupid lucky I am. He’s playing at my feet right now, content with a couple toys and an empty trash bin.

So I forgot the anniversary of SWEET LOVE. It was September 28. I sipped my coffee this morning as Josh did the breakfast dishes and I said, “Oh shit. I missed the anniversary of my book.” I am so so so proud of that book. Book number 2! Any author will tell you how difficult that second book is to write. You had one great idea and now you’re supposed to have, what, ANOTHER one?! I worked hard on SWEET LOVE. It was truly a collaboration between me, my incredible agent Eva Scalzo, and my inimitable editor, Sarah Blumenstock. But when the day arrived last year, the official pub date, I was coasting on waves of postpartum emotions and the book itself felt so inconsequential.

The book is not, in any way, inconsequential. And I’m as proud of it today as I was when I wrote it, when it pubbed, and every day since. Today I’m going to have a really good cup of coffee and a slice of pie–because that’s what Mila Bailey would do–and I’m going to drop a copy of SWEET LOVE into my local little free library. And if you’re in Astoria, Queens, maybe you’ll find it. I hope you love it and give it the celebration it deserves.